The last few days has been a whirlwind. Fits of tears, fits of laughter.
Luckily, Ernie is Mr. Always-Pack-Way-In-Advance-and-Pack-Way-More-Than-You-Might-Need-Just-In-Case. This meant that, while the house was a disaster for a few weeks, we were able to enjoy our last few days together without the stress of making sure that everything was packed.
On Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday we had the boys one last time before the deployment. We played like crazy people and were all exhausted beyond belief by Thursday evening. Friday morning, Daddy got dressed in his uniform and said goodbye to his boys for the last time. Luckily, at these ages, almost 2 and 4.5, they have no concept of what it means to be gone for so long. At the ripe, young age of 4.5, Noah has already been though one deployment and so many months of training, that he easily accepts the explanation - "Daddy is going away to work for a long, long time" - in stride. There were quick, tearless hugs and kisses and a few photos, and Daddy was out the door. The boys went back to playing, and I patted myself on the back for holding it together.
Because, goodness knows, my throat and eyes were burning. It was one more final step towards the inevitable.
Saturday, we ran some last minute errands - grabbed some snacks for his flight, finished getting all of our financial and logistical ducks in a row. I made Bison Enchiladas, rice, beans, pico de gallo, and calabacitas for our last homemade dinner together. I'm pretty sure the only food request Ernie has ever made is for vats of Pico de Gallo to be ever present in the fridge. So, when he requested Enchiladas, I was on mission. Making Enchiladas in Germany is not as easy as you might think. Good tortillas, tomatillos, poblanos - forget it. Your never going to find them. But, between the commissary and the German grocery stores, I was able to find ingredients that worked. And, I had a happy, happy husband...
Sunday. Our last day together. The only other request that Ernie made was that Sunday be spent at our favorite spa in Landstuhl called
Cubo. This place is awesome! We have been going every week for the last month, so we absolutely had to make one more stop. We spent our final day together, hanging out in saunas, steam rooms, jacuzzi pools, and eating great spa food. We rested beside each other, reading the paper in our chaise lounges. It was one of those days where images of us were forever impressed upon my brain, and I know that I will recall them throughout the deployment for strength. I was so happy that he had one last chance to be pampered and to relax. And, that we had the opportunity to just BE, together.
We came home, made phone calls to the family, ate too much chocolate, and tried to stifle tears. Trying to remain positive, we talked about how great this experience is going to be for us: for each of us to achieve our individual goals, to stay connected through letters & journals & fun packages, to get ahead on our finances. We snuggled up for a whopping 2 hours of sleep, and then, at 2am, we loaded up the car and headed to post. We sat together - half napping, half chatting - in the car until the buses came to load everyone up. We had the Hollywood goodbye scene - me sobbing, him stoic and reassuring. And, then we were off - onto our own paths, yet still very much connected.
Ernie strength is so incredible in situations like these. His positive attitude has helped so much in helping me cope with this - my first deployment. Every word that comes out of his mouth is so reassuring. Of course, I know that he will miss home like the day is long, but somehow he manages to hold onto the bright side so tightly. And, because of this, I am able to be strong for him. He gave me tips on focusing on my goals, focusing on the mission, so that the sadness doesn't take over. I will miss everything about him with every fiber of my being, but it's easier knowing that our next step together will be him coming home instead of him leaving. It gives us something to look forward to.
And, that is invaluable.
