Finding Strength Through Yoga

A few weeks ago, I had finally reached my tipping point. It had been five months since my last yoga class in English, and I was about to go mad. I hopped online, trying to find a local English speaking teacher, an American or Brit doing an intensive or workshop within an 8 hour radius - anything to get my fix.

Much to my delight, I found an incredible Anusara-inspired teacher in Munich named Barbra Noh. She is an Australian expat, and every Wednesday, she teaches an intermediate class in English! I was so excited that I booked a room at a hostel, filled up my gas tank, and drove 6 hours to Munich. Crazy, I know. Even other yogis thought I was crazy. But, try going five months without a class, and I guarantee you will practically be willing to sell a limb to make it happen.

Well, maybe not really. I mean triangle pose would be pretty difficult without a leg...

Anyhoo, I got to Munich, settled into my room, and set out to explore. I ate a light meal at a lovely little cafe called the Cafe am Beethovenplatz and then, headed to Air Yoga - the most beautiful yoga studio I have ever seen.

The class was incredible. Even better than I had hoped for. The inspiration for the class was finding strength within ourselves, so that, in turn, we can be strong enough for others. The saying goes that one can only love others as much as they can love themselves, and that is what this class aimed to prove. At first, it didn't really resound with me. I already give. I already volunteer. What could this class possibly teach me that I didn't already know?

But, as I was standing in an 85 degree room, an hour into an already really challenging class, I was standing, shaking, and sweating in Warrior III. We had already been balancing on one leg for what felt like 5 minutes, moving in and out of poses. I wanted to quit. I wanted to just stand there and wait for her to lead us to something more comfortable. But, then she made a statement that changed everything.

She said, "If you can't be strong enough to hold this pose for yourself right now, be strong enough to hold it for someone who needs you."

I tightened up and held the strongest asana I've ever held in my life. And, then, I lost it. I sobbed my way through the next 5 or 6 poses. I realized in that moment that even when I want to give up, when I feel like I don't have the strength to keep going, I HAVE to. For my husband when he is scared and homesick. For our kids, when they wonder why Daddy STILL isn't home. I need to be the one who stays strong and holds everyone up, because quite simply sometimes, they just can't.

I realized that I didn't want to hold that Warrior III, not because I couldn't, but because it was uncomfortable. My leg wasn't going to break. I wasn't in danger. I just didn't want to. And, in times of war, we don't have the luxury to quit when it becomes uncomfortable. We find the strength that we didn't know we were capable of, and we charge on. We become the warrior we didn't know we could be.

After this class, I am a changed woman - a stronger woman. A stronger wife. I've taken this theory away from the mat and tried to implement it into my daily life. It's made the first few days of the deployment so much easier, because I know that I have the strength to make it though this, even if it is uncomfortable.